When You Heal: Learning to Protect Your Peace

By Oksana George

Photo By Drew R.McCoy Special thanks to him for capturing this beautiful moment. If you want to get photos or even follow him on social media his instagram is : @cokreatemedia GO Show Him Some LOVE!

Introduction

Healing isn’t something you wake up one day and just have. It’s not a quick fix, and it’s not something that always happens in a month or even a year. Healing is messy. It’s layered. It’s a journey, and some days, it’s one breath at a time. Whatever pain you’ve been through, the kind that left you shaken, confused, maybe even a little numb. I want you to know something: you deserve to heal. No matter how heavy it feels or how long it takes.

I’ve carried pain too. I won’t go into every detail right now, but I will say this: healing is possible. I’m living proof. There was someone in my life I was deeply attached to someone I truly thought would always be there. I thought this person would be my safe place, my forever, my best friend. But the truth hit hard. I had to face the reality that this person caused more harm than healing. The constant scolding. The harsh criticism. The yelling that wasn’t even about me, it was their own unhealed trauma spilling over onto me. And let me tell you, if you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed that pain onto others.

There was gaslighting, lies, fear, control, and it took everything in me to finally walk away. But leaving wasn’t the end. That was just the beginning. What came after was the real storm: the overthinking, the self-blame, the shame, the crushing belief that maybe I was the problem. I wasn’t healed. I didn’t even know where to start. And then came the heartbreak, the kind that physically hurts. The kind that makes you feel like your soul is shattered in places no one can see. I had to learn how to pick up those pieces and put myself back together gently, slowly, on my own terms.

There were flashbacks. Tears. Sleepless nights. Moments of wondering if I’d ever feel whole again. But piece by piece, I started healing. And through it all, I realized something powerful: Peace isn’t something that just shows up one day. It’s something you fight for. It’s something you protect. It’s something you choose every single day, even when it means walking away from people you love. Even when it means starting over. Even when it’s hard. So if you’re healing, if you’re hurting, if you’re somewhere in the middle of all of it, I see you. Keep going. Your peace is worth everything.

What Healing Feels Like

I spent so much of my life in survival mode, just trying to make it through the day without breaking. After everything I went through, I lost my voice. I didn’t feel safe to speak up. I was scared I’d be scolded, judged, or treated differently. So I stayed quiet. I kept my mouth shut. And you know what? That’s exactly what they wanted. That’s how they controlled me. If I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t fight back. That’s how deep the control ran. The gaslighting made me question my own reality, to the point that even after I left that relationship, I still gaslighted myself. I’d catch myself thinking I was “too sensitive” or “just overreacting.” I’d replay conversations in my head wondering if I imagined the hurt.

That’s what gaslighting does, it messes with your head until you don’t even trust your own feelings anymore. I used to talk to myself in ways I wouldn’t talk to anyone else. The negative thoughts were nonstop, so dark and loud that it felt like I couldn’t escape them. It was exhausting. It broke me. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had no confidence, no boundaries, and no peace. Fear had a grip on me, and that fear controlled every part of my life. That was survival mode. That was my reality. But little by little, I started unlearning all of that. I started trying to speak up again, even when my voice shook. I started choosing peace over people- pleasing. I started setting boundaries, even when I felt guilty. And yeah, the fear of losing people still creeps in sometimes… but I remind myself: if I have to lose someone just because I chose to protect my peace, then they were never meant to stay.

I used to stay silent to “keep the peace”, but really, I was just avoiding conflict and abandoning myself in the process. I’d go along with things I didn’t agree with just to keep people comfortable. But not anymore. Now, I remind myself every day: “Oksana, you’re allowed to have feelings. You’re allowed to speak up. You’re allowed to protect your peace. You don’t have to stay small to make other people feel better.” I’m not a robot. I’m not someone you can just shut down and silence. I’m a human being, and I have a voice, and I have rights. That’s where things started to shift for me.

That’s when healing really began. Because yes, the trauma happened. Yes, it still hurts sometimes. But I refuse to let it keep me stuck. I’ve got tiny humans watching me now. They’re learning from me. And if I want to show them what strength looks like, I’ve got to start with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still healing. I’m still learning and growing every single day. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. Some days I fall back into old patterns. But healing isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. It’s about teaching your brain a new way to exist that isn’t built on pain. And honestly? I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Because even though my past hurt me… it didn’t break me. I’m still here. I survived it. And now, I’m learning how to live through it, not just carry it. That’s what healing feels like.

Protecting Your Peace

Let me just say this loud and clear: protecting your peace is not selfish. It’s necessary. You cannot expect to grow, heal, or even breathe if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity and toxic energy. Sometimes you gotta walk away before that mess becomes something deeper, something traumatic. And let’s be real, setting boundaries is a form of protecting your peace. If someone is calling you names, are you really just gonna let that slide? Hell no. You set that boundary. Because no one, I mean no one, deserves to be talked to like that. Here’s what I mean: if someone starts name-calling you, that is not the time for second chances.

That is the time to stand up for yourself and lay it down. You don’t have to yell, you don’t have to match their energy. Stay calm, stay firm, and say: “I’m not okay with being spoken to like that. If it continues, I’m walking away.” If they keep going? Walk. Away. You gave them a boundary and they crossed it. You are not required to stick around for anyone who can’t show you basic human decency. That’s not strength, that’s self-respect. I’ve been there too. I had to set a boundary with someone who didn’t respect how I needed to communicate. They wanted to call and hash it out over the phone. I said, “Text is better for me right now.” That wasn’t fear, that was me protecting my peace.

But instead of honoring that, they threw shade and told me I was “afraid to talk.” Nah. I just didn’t want to put myself in a position to be talked down to again. I knew who they were. I knew how they spoke when they were angry. And I chose not to put myself through that. That’s called growth. And even though that person walked away from me, I didn’t lose anything. If anything, they lost me. These days? I don’t tolerate disrespect.

I’m at a point in my life where peace means everything. Peace is me, minding my own business, doing my thing, not carrying the weight of someone else’s anger or judgment. I set boundaries, and if people can’t handle them, that’s on them. Not me. And if they can respect my peace and meet me where I’m at? That’s the kind of energy I welcome. That’s a win. And that right there, that is peace.

Real Talk: Healing Isn’t Always Pretty

Let’s be honest, healing? It’s not all sunshine and deep breaths. Some days hurt like hell. There were days I felt completely broken. Not just because I had to let certain people go… but because I had to sit with all the things they put me through. And that part? That was the hardest. Letting go wasn’t just about cutting someone off, it was about choosing me for once.

Choosing peace. Choosing to stop tolerating pain disguised as love. And yeah, some people didn’t like that version of me. The version that finally spoke up. Set boundaries. Chose herself. But the truth is, the people who don’t like the healed version of you? They liked the version that kept quiet. The one who let things slide. The one who tolerated too much. And I’m not her anymore. She deserved better, and I deserve better now. And if healing means losing a few people who were never really rooting for me? Then so be it. Because there are people out there who see your growth and say, “I’m proud of you.” And those are the ones worth keeping around. So when the doubt creeps in, when it starts to hurt, remind yourself of this: You didn’t come this far to go back. You deserve better, and you’re finally starting to believe it.

The Power of Peace

Let me say this loud and clear: You are allowed to protect your peace, even if it makes other people uncomfortable. Even if they don’t get it. That’s not your problem. We live in a world that literally profits off our pain, our insecurities, our trauma, our silence.

So choosing to heal? To protect your energy and step into your power? That makes you rare. That makes you one of a kind. So keep doing what you’re doing. Be real. Be soft when you need to be, strong when it matters, and always true to yourself. Because peace isn’t just quiet, it’s power. And girl, you’ve earned it.

Lastly, if you want to talk or tell your story feel free to hit that button down below. Thanks for reading!

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