Becoming Her: The Journey To Strength Part I:

Weclome to Her Strength Journey. This blog is more than just a collection of workouts, recipes, or life tips- it’s the story of how I found my strength, inside and out. This is probably the longest blog I will ever be posting. But please do not be intimidated. Take your time to read and to feel inspired as to what you are about to read. Give yourself breaks if needed and come back later! It will be here!

I wasn’t always the person you see today. The woman who smiles, shows up, and fights for growth was built through challenge, reflection, and a whole lot of grace. I want to open up about where I started, what I have overcome, and how I’ve grown- because I believe every woman has a strong story worth telling. This is mine. Just two months ago, I hit rock bottom. Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually—I was drained. I was stuck in a cycle of negativity, constantly seeking validation from others, and feeling overwhelmingly alone… even though I wasn’t truly alone. There was an emptiness inside of me, a void I couldn’t explain. And instead of facing it, I stayed stuck—doing nothing, just coasting through life in a rut.

Then came the moment that changed everything. It wasn’t a dramatic event. It was a conversation. A really hard, honest, and raw conversation with someone I care about deeply. They said something that shattered me in the moment, but ultimately cracked me open in the best way “Oksana, I think it’s time you really hear the truth… You need to grow up. This relationship is toxic, and I don’t want that in my life anymore. I was shocked. Hurt. Defensive. I thought, what do you mean grow up? I am grown! How could you say this to me? I immediately assumed they were trying to tear me down—maybe even that they hated me. But they weren’t trying to hurt me. They were living their truth. They explained they weren’t ignoring me—they were simply focused on their own growth, their family, and their relationship with God. And they didn’t have space for toxicity in their life anymore. At first, I reacted in anger. I couldn’t accept it. I didn’t want to believe I was the problem.

 But the more I sat with those words, the more they began to echo in my heart. Because deep down, I knew they were right. I didn’t have my life together. I was constantly creating drama, living with a chip on my shoulder, chasing validation, and terrified of being alone. I was miserable. I was toxic. And I wasn’t growing. The hardest part of growth is honesty—especially with yourself. I had to take a hard look in the mirror and admit that my actions weren’t lining up with the person I wanted to be. And I couldn’t become her until I stopped blaming others and started taking responsibility for my life. And that… that was the start of something new. It didn’t happen overnight. There were tears. Anger. Jealousy.

I went through every emotion. I even convinced myself that they were the toxic ones. But eventually, the fog cleared, and I saw the truth: I had to take ownership of my healing. I had to let go of being the victim. I had to grow. This blog, Her Strength Journey, was born from that turning point. It’s about the messy, painful, beautiful path of becoming. It’s not about having it all figured out—it’s about choosing growth, even when it’s uncomfortable.So if you’ve ever felt stuck… if you’ve been afraid to face your truth… if you’ve been where I was—I see you. And I want you to know: you’re not alone. You can grow through this. You will rise.

This is just the beginning. The moment everything shifted for me—the real turning point—was when someone I deeply admired and longed to have a relationship with sent me that message and said, “You need to grow up.” That sentence hit me like a ton of bricks. But instead of spiraling into self-pity, I woke up the next morning with a new mindset: This is Day One. Day one of a new journey. Day one of choosing growth. Emotionally, it felt like something heavy had been lifted off my shoulders.

As painful as it was to hear that they didn’t want a relationship with me anymore, their honesty gave me a wake-up call I desperately needed. Because I couldn’t help but think—what if this happens again? What if I push away someone else I love? That thought haunted me: Oksana, why are you hurting the people you care about? Why are you pushing them away? Physically, I felt sick. I remember lying in bed that night, unable to sleep, replaying everything in my mind. Have I really grown? Am I actually making progress in life? What am I doing wrong? By morning, I was exhausted—mentally, emotionally, physically. And yet, beneath the pain, there was something new… peace. For the first time, I felt mentally free. As if facing the truth allowed me to finally stop running from myself.

 I had to hit rock bottom to realize how far I’d drifted from the person I wanted to become. And here’s the truth no one tells you: moments like this will keep happening. Growth isn’t linear, and it’s never comfortable. It often begins in heartbreak, humility, and hard truths. Looking back, maybe I resented that person in the past. But now? I’m deeply grateful. Because without that honest push—without someone being brave enough to tell me the truth—I might still be stuck. And that’s what this journey is about. Real growth begins when you finally see yourself clearly… and decide to change anyway.

The morning after everything changed, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time: release. A sense of emotional weight lifting off my shoulders. So I did what felt right in that moment—I went to the gym. It was 4 a.m., my usual time to work out. But this time felt different. I didn’t want to follow anyone else’s routine or make conversation. I just needed to be alone—with my thoughts, my feelings, and the elliptical. I told myself, Just one hour. One hour to clear my head. And that’s exactly what I did. By the end of that session, I felt incredible—sweaty, spent, but mentally lighter than I had in weeks.

I said goodbye to my gym friends and headed home. During that quiet car ride, my mind was racing: What’s next? What do I do now? Where do I even begin? And then, almost like a whisper, a simple thought came to me: “Grab a journal.” “Write down a schedule for the week.” So that’s what I did. When I got home, I sat down with my journal and started mapping out a weekly schedule—not just a to-do list, but a true routine. I wanted to structure my day from the moment I woke up at 4 a.m. until the time I went to bed at 9 p.m. I didn’t just want to stay busy—I needed purpose, direction, and momentum. That was the first real step.

I wasn’t the girl lying in bed all day anymore. I wasn’t drowning in my own thoughts or waiting for someone else to fix things for me. I was choosing to show up—for myself, for my kids, for my future. The next day, I returned to the gym and joined my friends again. We worked out together. But during our session, another thought hit me—hard. “Oksana, why don’t you create your own workout plan? Something that’s yours. Something you love.” I paused. Literally stopped mid-rep. My friend asked if I was okay, and I brushed it off—but I knew something had clicked. I left the gym early that day, not because I was upset, but because I was inspired. On the drive home, I started mentally piecing together a workout plan that would fit perfectly with my new routine. By the time I got home, I had written it all out. A plan that felt right for me—not anyone else. And in that moment,

I felt something new…

Part II

Determination.

For the first time in a long time, I had something to look forward to. I had a plan, a purpose, and the drive to see it through. When this journey first began, life looked very different. My husband had just left the Army in February of last year (2024), and we were suddenly thrust into a season of transition—with no roadmap, no steady income, and no home of our own. I didn’t have a job at the time, and he was preparing to attend aviation school (I’ll admit, I still don’t fully understand his job title!). What I did understand was this: we had no choice but to move in with his parents. And honestly? I didn’t want to.

I longed for independence. I wanted our own space, the freedom to raise our kids how we wanted, to create our own rhythm without worrying about tiptoeing around someone else’s house. But we were stuck. We were doing what we had to do to survive—and that was hard to swallow. Still, I have to give credit where it’s due. His family welcomed us with open arms. They offered us a place to stay, rent-free, and provided steady emotional support. It was a blessing in many ways. But like anything, there were challenges. Sharing space with others, especially as a married couple with children, is not easy.

There were days when I felt overwhelmed, claustrophobic, and frustrated. Privacy was scarce. Emotions ran high. On top of that, our marriage was suffering. We were carrying the weight of financial pressure, debt, time constraints, and emotional exhaustion. And I’ll be honest—I wasn’t showing up the way I needed to. I was spiraling emotionally, stuck in my own pain, and disconnected from what mattered most. But today, I choose not to dwell on the what I should’ve done or the how it could’ve been.

Because now—we’re here. We’re in the process of rebuilding what was broken. We’re creating something stronger, something better, together. And let me tell you, nothing about this part of the story was easy. It was uncomfortable. It was humbling. But it was the beginning of something real. And growth, true growth, always starts in the hard places. The Small Wins...

There were plenty of moments when I felt like I was failing. Times I doubted myself, questioned my progress, and wondered if I was even moving forward at all. But despite the setbacks, I began to notice something—there were signs of growth.

Little by little, I started to see that I was making progress. And those small wins? They mattered more than I realized. At one point, I remember being completely stuck.  I didn’t know what to do with myself, where to start, or how to heal. So, I reached out to friends. I asked for advice. And their words stuck with me: “Have you considered therapy?” “Are you setting any small goals?” “Oksana, you’re putting way too much on your plate—you have to stop doing that to yourself.” That’s when I began to reflect. And sure enough, I realized I did have small goals I wanted to work toward. One of the first was going to the gym. At the beginning of last year, I started showing up.

I wasn’t pushing myself hard or following a strict plan—but just being there was a step. And it wasn’t easy. Going to the gym by myself for the first time felt intimidating. But I did it. I started by walking the treadmill or track, slowly joined some classes, and eventually made a few friends along the way. That was a big win. Another goal? Finding a church. A friend from the gym recommended one she attended. I gave it a try. It wasn’t my forever home, and I don’t go there anymore, but something very important happened during that time—I got baptized. As someone who once identified as an atheist, then agnostic, and now a Christian, that moment was deeply personal and incredibly meaningful. (My full testimony is a story for another day.) But what I’m saying is—I tried. I made the effort.

I stepped out of my comfort zone, and I took baby steps toward becoming who I wanted to be. And finally—one of the biggest wins of all—was asking for help. It took humility and courage to admit that I wasn’t okay. That I wasn’t healed. But I did it. I found a therapist, made the call, and booked the appointment myself. For someone who had always relied on others—especially growing up with a mom who handled everything for me—that was a huge milestone. It may seem small to some, but for me, it was one of the first real acts of independence. So yes, even in the middle of the mess—even with all the things I was still working through—there were bright spots. There were victories. There were moments that reminded me that growth doesn’t always come in big, sweeping changes. Sometimes, it comes in quiet steps. One small win at a time.

Part III

A lot has happened to me—mentally and physically—over the past year and a half. It’s been a long, emotional, and often painful journey. And while I still have a long way to go, I can confidently say: I’ve come a very long way. As I write this today, I’m reflecting on just how much I’ve grown. How much healing has taken place. No, it hasn’t been easy. Growth rarely is. And I know I still have so much more learning, stretching, and self-discovery ahead of me. But I’m doing better now—so much better—compared to where I was a year ago. I’ve stepped onto a brand-new path. A path of rediscovery. Of purpose. Of healing. I’m no longer just surviving—I’m thriving.

I’ve become what some might call a “gym rat”—and I say that with pride. I’m obsessed (in the best way) with living a healthy lifestyle. I’ve embraced routine and structure. I’ve built a daily schedule that keeps me focused and grounded. And I’ve created a nutrition plan that aligns with my physical and emotional needs. One important part of my healing journey has been getting diagnosed with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder).

It was a life-altering realization, and I’ll be diving deeper into that in a future post—how I discovered it, how I’m learning to manage it, and what it’s taught me about my mind and body. I’m also currently in therapy, doing the hard internal work to heal from my past. It’s not always easy, but every session brings me closer to becoming the woman I want to be. And through it all—through the setbacks, the sleepless nights, the tears, and the fear—I kept going. Even when I had no strength left, I pushed forward. Even when I lost hope, I tried again. And in doing that, I started to find pieces of myself I thought were gone forever. I will never claim to be perfect. But what I will say is this: I am strong.

Because I’ve been through the fire. And I came out of it not untouched, but refined. And above all, I keep going for my two kids and my husband. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how heavy life feels some days—I fight for them. I show up for them. Because life without me wouldn’t be the same for them.

And that is what keeps me moving forward.

Why I’m Sharing This:

I’m sharing my story with you because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt lost, broken, or stuck. If you ever find yourself in a dark place—questioning your worth, your direction, or your strength—I want you to know that you’re not alone.

This blog is a safe space, especially for the women out there who are navigating their own healing journeys. My hope is that you can come back to this story whenever you need a reminder that healing is possible. That growth is messy but powerful. That even when life feels overwhelming, you can rise. You will rise. This is more than just my story—it’s a message. A reminder that every single person has a purpose.

And no matter how hard it gets, no matter how heavy the season you’re in, you have to keep going. Because the best version of you is still waiting to be discovered—and she’s worth fighting for. If You’re Struggling, Please Know This If you’re going through a difficult time and feel like you have nowhere to turn, please know that help is always available. You don’t have to face your struggles alone.

Call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, for free, confidential support—24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Whether you’re overwhelmed, feeling hopeless, or just need someone to talk to, there is someone ready to listen and walk alongside you. Your life matters. You matter. And asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Keep going—you are never alone.